Don't take credit for my work...

I think one of the biggest things that totally pisses me off is when a co-worker takes credit for your work. You explain to him how the process works because he asked. But as you explain to him, he disagrees and keeps interrupting and when he finally understands, he promptly notifies the supervisor... and the supervisor praises him for his efforts.

*sigh* I think also it could be a major PRIDE thing. *sigh* A couple of arguments to support this is the fact that he deals with stress really well and is very friendly and approachable... and with me, i'm freaking out with my deadlines and in all honestly a wreak. There is so much pressure for me to get things done, but hardly any encouragement from anyone.

I need to let go of this bitterness and anger and move forward with my life. Cause this is seriously destroying me.

Sorry guys...i just had to vent.

I think i'm starting to understand..

The Desert is the answer and where I'm at, it is in the desert where I can fully experience God. But its in the desert where everything is so dry, uneventful, quiet and lonely. I long for so many things and so many dreams that I still want to see fulfilled. But its time to put all that away and be in the desert. There isn't really much of road to see. All I really have is just Him...

But there will be a time for me to leave (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) Seasons do change.
Just as Moses and John the Baptist spent 20+ yrs in the desert, they both had to leave too to fulfill their ministries :)

A glimspe...

What it mean to see a glimspe of His Glory? What does it take? What am I holding onto that is preventing me to experience something more? What does it take to have more?

In a lot of ways, I'm really frustrated, I'm tired and burnt out from the pressures of work. I'm tired of dealing with people and being taken advantage of. I'm tired of being in this desert and tired of being tired.

Its in the desert where I've experience God's grace so many times, its in the desert where I've truly felt loved. Why do i resent it? I know that I'm still here cause I have some unfinished business, still lots of refining within me. Yet, I would feel gulity if I left the desert and not experience everything that the Lord wanted me to do. But then again, would I have really left? Can I leave? I feel so alone in my journey. Its been so long since I've last heard Your still small voice again.

Surprises...

So you not gonna believe what happened to me yesterday.... I was working late last night trying to catch up on things at work. As I was working, the Janitor comes by and i did my usual "Hi, how's it going? ...Thanks for taking my garbage... have a goodnight..." and yeah carried on with my work. Anyways, about an hr later I was done my stuff and was shutting down stuff for the night. I grab my cell and wallet...but couldn't find my car key!!! So i spent the next half hour cleaning through my bag, desk and drawers thinking of all possible places where I may have placed my key and NOTHING... I was panicking because the bus service had stopped and I was the last person in the office. So I was freaking out and praying feverishly asking the Lord to reveal to me where the key is... and it wasn't working! haha... but yeah, after some time I managed to finally quiet my thoughts and just ask the Lord about where the key may be. As I remained "still" (my heart was still racing), the thought of "garbage can" hit my heart, I looked in my garbage can and it was empty... and then I remember that THE JANITOR had emptied my trash can. So I race outside...running around the other businesses outside and looking for his car. And only like 2 minutes after, I find him and explain to him what may have happened. And this guy was amazing. He took me to the big metal trash bin and it was FULL with garbage bages. With all the number of bags I knew it would take me hours to find...however... he knew the exact one from my office was. He brought out the bag, ripped it open and dumped it on the parking lot. Both of us were picking through the trash...and about 5 mins later..... MY KEY!... hahaha... it was amazing! I thanked the guy like crazy and he was like "no prob man"... crazy...

So today I waited for the janitor because I wanted to thank him again and give him a little something.... and you know what?? he just wouldn't accept it.... man if only he was chinese, the I would get angry and flip my desk, because its disrespectful when a fellow chinese refuses a gift... hahaha... but he was like "No No, i'm just doing my job" and then he went back to our 'regular' conversation... "How are you? ... thanks for taking out the garbage... have a goodnight"

Haha... man, God is good and man He never ceases to amaze me. Even with such small simple things, He's always there watching over me :)

engine woes...

So it looks like we are really really really behind schedule. Talked with some co-workers who have worked on several similar projects before and they've all said "We've never been in a situation like this where its so messed up before" ... haha...*sigh*... in all honesty I'm tired of spending my saturdays here at the office. But I've got a job to do...and whether or not its going well I'll see to it to the end.

Reading Isaiah 61 which surprisingly is title "The Year of the LORD's favor" :)

2a to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.


Its so awesome that we as his children have His favor. We just need to proclaim it and take hold of it :)
It just amazes me how sometimes we feel we just need a word for comfort and the Lord provides a whole chapter! haha... and how sometimes we look for a whole chapter and we only get a word. Yes the Lord is good!

Friday the 13th!

Ahh yes today is friday the 13th...eh...

so I bought this new-used analog delay pedal. Thats right people a green label late 80's BOSS-DM!!!!!
haha... i pretty stoke on hearing the good old vintage tone. So this is awesome, my next pedal purchase shall most likely be a tube screamer! and that should be good for the most part until i get a new guitar.

Anyways, I guess I'm progressing on with life. Learning to rely on Him through both the good and the best of times! thats right...not just the bad times...all we are and have is a gift from God.

A new beginning! Isaiah 35 says it well:

1 Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.
The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.
2 Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers
and singing and joy!
The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon,
as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.
There the Lord will display his glory,
the splendor of our God.

9 The parched ground will become a pool,
and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land.
Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish
where desert jackals once lived.

Time to let go of the habits of the old and believe that new and better things are about to come. The Lord's favor is upon his people. And you know what? thats you and me!

Amen to a new beginning!

Looking for a bass player...

to teach me...hahaha...

Yup, thats right...i've got roughly about 2 months to learn bass. Basically, I need to learn some basic - intermediate level bass rhythms... and oh...does anyone out there have a bass I can borrow?

Thanks!

Finally...a post!

Well, its been awhile eh?

*sigh*...i can't believe its the end of september already....this means deadlines. I've been so busy with this project that i've literally lost track of which day is what. The "engine" team is so stressed out, and I think when the development lead snapped at me yesterday it was the first visual sympton of the stress and high-tension among our teams. It was awkward, cause the whole office went dead slient right after our "conversation"... oh well, I have a job to do and it needs to be done... and I don't like to get pushed around.

Man, i've never felt so demoralized... haha... our team lead quit a few weeks ago (for a bigger and better job with a oil company), leaving the rest of the team to fend for themselves. We're the only team without a lead and the business resources...*sigh*. Its been always been a uphill battle and the hill now is only steeper.

But this is another step of growing out of the studentness in me and stepping up. All we are and all we have is a gift from God. We are called to serve and to love. As I was thinking this, I put on my headphones and I heard ..'How Can I keep from singing your praise... How can I ever say enough how amazing is your love...I can sing in the trouble times...sing when I win... I sing cause your there...I can sing cause you hear me lord... I can sing...etc..'

yeah not to take away any of the "manlyness" in me, haha...its a awesome feeling to know that his presence is here and the real joy in His love in all circumstances.

Starfield! Chris Tomlin! Third Day!

All three bands last night night were good. Though I must admit I was only looking forward to Chris Tomlin and yeah I wasn't disappointed one bit. Man, Chris Tomlin was simply amazing. I admire his heart, humility and his geninue love for the Lord. Really, it was such a awesome night of worship. There is a special annointing God has placed on Chris's songs. Songs of such simplicity that ministers to people and yet bold declaration of God's love, greatness and Glory. Thank you Chris for sharing your songs.


On another note, I took some time to reflect the past year of my life... and yeah. Thank you God for this special day and thank you for simply taking a interest in my life by molding and shaping me this past year. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for Your will and Your plans in my life. Now, I'm really looking forward to another year of growth and in my life journey.

Cool Analogy...

This is for the good guys out there:

"The good guy can be like the great restaurant that only locals know about. The tourists miss it because they fall for the "traps" of the neon sign and convenient location of the franchise, not realizing that the best is tucked away just a few blocks over. The good guy is more a discovery, finding him can take more effort because you have to work your way past all the flash of the franchise guy. He could be working in the cubicle next to you, or sitting just a few rows over in class, or playing guitar in your church small group. Take the time to get to know him. The one who might be easy to overlook could turn out to be the best kept secret."

hmmm...

Since when have I become so dignified in worship???

God is Glorious!

God is Glorious over Calgary!

I have to say Global Day of Prayer this year was AWESOME! I just love the aspect that 200 million christians were all in agreement yesterday for change, for revival, something fresh and anew from the Lord.
I thought it was "better" than last years, even though there were fewer people but that doesn't matter. I'm not saying that last years what bad or anything, but just throughout this past year I have learn to appreicate and gained a better understanding on the power of prayer. And as we were praying yesterday, His presence was strong.

I was overwhelm because our (the church of CALGARY) hearts were in unionson for repentance, healing and declaration of God reigning in this city.

Also, I just think its so awesome to see the numbers of people participating, especially in Tawian and Hong Kong. The Lord is stirring something in the hearts of the chinese people!

I got alot out of this gathering, but "God, I hope You got the most out of our praises and prayers to You" As its not about us, but all about You!

So I apparently need to be more assertive.

So during my team meeting today my supervisor mentioned to me that I need to be "more assertive with my decisions and less vague with my explainations... it would be good for my career..." she said with a smirk.

I'm sitting here at my desk and just pondering on her comment.

And...well, I must agree with her. I think I don't have the confidence in my answers or my work without her approval or involvement. Even though she is pleased with the work that I've been submitting, I think she wants me to break out of our my bubble and take the lead. As she is giving me greater tasks, I know she wants me to step up and make decisions without or less involvement on her part.

What she spoke is a reflection of my character. The reason I'm so afraid of making decisions cause:
1. The most obvious reason its my head if its a bad decision.
2. I'm not confident.
3. I've never made any major decisions without "lengthy" prayer. (this usually involves days... haha)

So my solution to this:

1. Make a decision (calculated risk) and stick with it
2. Confidence is found in the Lord. (As the Lord has promised to take care of us. Psalm 139)
3. Short or lengthy prayers...doesn't matter. Give it to the Lord, *speak into it and He'll lead the way.

*There is power in our spoken tongue...
"A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, and from the produce of his lips he shall be filled." (Proverbs 18:20)


Thanks guys for letting me share this with you.

God is working on my character. I'm grateful for His hand intervening in my life.

"I pray that your love for each other will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in your knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until Christ returns. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation those good things that are produced in your life by Jesus Christ--for this will bring much glory and praise to God." (Philippians 1: 9-11)

So I saw X3 and ...

its pretty good.

I think its the best out of the trilogy. Though the story line strayed from the comic books, I appreicate that they concluded it and didn't leave too many things hanging... (for those who haven't seen it, stay after the credits and there is a scene that throws a twist). Supposely there will be a Wolverine and Magneto spinoff. So that will be interesting...

My legs are still sore from Laser Tag on friday... man, it hurts so much just to walk. And no, i'm not gonna throw the "I am old" comment... I find those comments more depressing than funny... haha.. rather I need to exercise and prepare for paintball! Which reminds me, I'll be holding a paintball event near the end of summer (tentatively, depending on when people are leaving) before those who need to go back to school goes back to school. Plus it would be good to get some of the guys together before they leave (Chris Harman). I'll keep you guys posted.

Tommorrow... the negotations begins...

Thoughts and Promises...

Reading through Psalms again. Just thought I would share with anyone that reads this blog. I go through this chapter whenever I feel low and when I just need the strength to move forward.

91:1 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

91:4 “He will cover you with His pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge.”

91:5 “You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”

91:11 “For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.” (Prayer for those closest to you)

I guess one of my biggest struggles is wanting to be and letting the Lord be that dwelling place. When I'm not thirsty, I don't yearn. However, when I feel low, I seek. I wish my heart wasn't so half-hearted sometimes. I want to seek when I don't want to seek. I want to perservere through both the abundant and dry times. God, I just want to seek as David sought after you. “How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God.” Psalm 84:1-2.
But to get to that, I need Him to be my dwelling place. Lord, this isn't something I can get to on my own. Lead me there...

91:9 "If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the LORD, who is my refuge-"
Here is a list of promises (91: 10-16):
I will DELIVER him.
I will PROTECT him.
I will ANSWER him.
I will BE WITH him in trouble.
I will RESCUE him.
I will HONOR him.
I will SATISFY him with long life.
I will SHOW HIM my salvation.

Open!

Now OPEN:
Accepting applications from 9-5 Mondays - Fridays only. Only qualified applicants will be contacted. Thank you for your interest!
hahaha yes... the posting is now up. Was closed for business, now I've opened up to the idea again.


******************************************************

Anyways, nothing too big thats been going on....

I'm still trying to finalize plans on whether if I should make a trip to Vancouver in July. I want to see my van friends again.

Work is starting to pick up and because of that I haven't had a chance to think too much on what I'll be doing this summer... haha...

The boys and I are still thinking about a trip to Cuba or the Dominican Republic at the end of August. So I've been thinking about that too and saving money.

I am a little worried though, cause deadlines for projects are coming around summer time and I don't know if they will approve my holiday requests. AHHHH! I miss the student life cause I wouldn't have to plan so far ahead for vacation and also not limited to 3 weeks of vacation, but its better than my last job only 2 weeks of vacation... ahh yes the Lord is good!

Thank you Jesus! I think I just need to pray... it will all work out...

If only apologies were this easy...

Translation:

"Sorry me say you fat. You beautiful and thin."

Dang...

There is a time when every man needs a woman...

Man, this is so true!
Over the weekend, a couple of guys from church and I helped a friend moved. I thought it was going to be a easy move. Considering it was a single guy living in a single bedroom basement suite. Man! I was so wrong. When we arrived at his place, the guy didn't even start packing yet. His place was also a diaster, the kitchen and washrooms were pretty nasty (he hasn't clean the place since he moved in 3 yrs ago!) So we had to help the guy pack and clean. hahaha... it was so gross. It took 5 guys about 8 hrs to clean and pack everything (I swear we threw away half of our friends possessions). 3 hrs to load everything to the U-Haul truck and 1 hr to unload everything to his new place.

Its funny how guys in general want to keep junk in the hope of finding use for it in the future. And how gals just want to get rid of everything that has not been in use for the past 6 months! Ahhh man and woman do complement each other. A woman would have kept my friend in line with the cleasiness and packing! Though I do admit I've been to some pretty nasty apartments of some of my female friends but thats another story. All in all though, it was alot of fun helping my friend move. I got breakfast, lunch and dinner out of it and I got to know the guys from church better. So that was a blessing!

Man, this is my prayer that when I do finally move out that the Lord will bless me with a amazing woman. She will help me to develop good habits before my bad habits begin (and vice versa ...of course) ...hehehe...

I'm excited for my friend though, he will be married in 6 months.... ahhh ... his woman will keep him in line....*whip pow*... hahahaha ...

God put a smile upon my face - Coldplay

Man, I guess I'm just continually grateful for the people in my life. Friends, who I haven't seen in a LONG time, can just pick up where things were left off. *sigh* I miss you guys but we will always have our friendship. Life-long friendships.

But I'm also blessed with the good friends who I see every week here in this city. Man I'm encouraged by simply being in your presence. Thank you guys.

When I think of all of you my friends. I can only smile.... and its just not the gas...hehe

Back at it again...

Well, weekend was super awesome! I gotta see my super awesome Vancouver friends. Had some super awesome Van food. Met a lot of new super awesome people to add to my super awesome list of Van friends ! Man, I can really say that these friends are really a gift from God. I appreciate you guys! I love all of you with all my heart.

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."
Proverbs 27:17

The only thing that sucks is the fact that I think I may have caught the flu. I may have a ear infection as I am hard of hearing in my left ear, it pops sometimes followed by a sharp pain. I've also lost my voice and coughing. Actually, one of my co-workers said today that I sounded more of a man... so a possibility that I might be hitting purberty again...

Windows Live Mail...

is HORRIBLE!

Didn't they learn anything about Human-Computer Interaction. The interface is not user friendly, application is slow to load and a few times has caused my IE browser to crash. The worst thing is, I haven't found a way to go back to the original layout. There is also a bug, that causes my msn to crash when i have both running.

Anyways, I'm getting pretty stroked that summer is around the corner! BBQs every weekend, camping and hiking trips... trip with the guys... man, so much to look forward to!

Oh crap... meeting in 5 mins....

New United Album is...

Super GOOD! Love the songs! Intimate songs and songs of declaration of the church. I can say so many things ... but I won't.

Yup, went to CP during lunch today. Great CD! I also picked up an extra CD for a friend, but apparently he also picked one up too today. So I have a extra album... oh well, I can always give it away to someone else.

Anyways... I was doing a google on Isaac Watts today on his book on "A guide to Prayer", I haven't read the book yet, but I've been curious to read it since Intercessory Prayer. I stumbled on this guy's blog. Its great! I've got to learn how to pray more and just yeah be more simple with my prayers. I encourage everyone to check it out.


Nature of Prayer


Gift of Prayer


Grace of Prayer


For those of you who don't know, Isaac Watts wrote the hymn "When I survey the wondrous cross" and other hymns.

On a side note:
I heard that the presidents were elected. *dang* ... Jill you'll always be president in my heart.... hehehe.... now got to convince you to stay in Calgary... hahaha...j/k

IMPACT

Whoa... doesn't Jonny look HOT with the PINK shirt?
Karen: That is soooooooo last year's color.

hahaha...

Anyways, Worship was awesome cause God was there. Need I say more?

I hope that we'll get a chance to be lead worshippers again on campus. It was so much fun! Thanks for the opportunity guys and thank you our Lord for recieving our praises to You!

Nathander for Prez!

Bored and highly unmotivated...

Man, its been a slow past 3 days at work... hahaha... got nothing really to do.


So to kill some time, I manage to ummm...download some of the new hillsong united: United we stand, songs from the Hillsong site. I have every intention on buying this cd when it comes out on april 4th. But I heard this one, ok ..two... ok... three songs that I absolutely needed to learn and sing!

And now, not only do I have them, but I also have the guitar tabs written out... yea!

Full length mp3 songs that I have are:
-Take it all (guitar tabs too)
-From the inside out (guitar tabs too)
-Came to the Rescue
-None But Jesus
-Revolution
-The Stand (guitar tabs too)

Man these songs are soooooo good. I'm EXCITED!!! Might have to buy two CDs!

If anyone wants the mp3s or chords, drop me a line.

A day worth celebrating!

Its 3.14 today! Happy PI Day everyone!




Yay for Pi!!!

0 for 12...

Stupid tim horton's... i'm 0 for 12 for the roll up the rim to win contest. Oh well, i'll give it 6 more attempts before I officially boycott Timmy's...hehe...actually i don't think I'll ever boycott Timmys I just love them too much....

Weekend was good had lots of fun with the guys (MANCON). We had a paintball fight (with slingshots) in Nose Hill park in some seclueded area where no one could see...hehe...It was alot of fun! Highlights of the event:
- My bro got shot in the face with a paintball, by a team mate...haha... bad aiming..but a good shot.
- Hmmm... in the middle of the playing field, I puked... and man, it was pretty steamy...
- A couple of guys had to take a piss during game play... easy targets....hehehe...

Across the waves, across the seas, seperating you from me...

Ok... this is not a love poem... sick....

So I got a call from a good friend last night. A friend I haven't seen nor heard from since summer. He's on the otherside of the world, mastering a language in which I've been trying to master my whole life...

Anyways, we were talking and catching up with our lives and sharing on what God is doing and wow, just hearing him I can sense a change in him. As we were exchanging stories, it was so encouraging to hear how through the struggle of change, loneiness, lack of direction (him being stuck in a foreign country) that God is using him and confirming things along the way.

Yesterday afternoon (yes... at work) I came across this passage in Romans. I remember memorizing this scripture a few years back.

Romans 8:28- "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."

But this time I let my thoughts dwell on it...and yeah if I were to re-write this verse, it would translate to:

"Disappointment, failure, and suffering are simply facts of life. But for those who are actively following God, He can turn disappointment and tragedy into new life" (Sam's version)

Ahhh...yes... NEW life...

and now... time to move forward...

Its better to ask questions... stupid organic coffee

So it was my turn to buy coffee for the office. I've never bought coffee in a bag before and as I walked in to the coffee shop, "Higher Ground" in Kensington. I was completely clueless as I was hoping for some sort of display or sales section on bagged coffee. There was nothing but a long lineup, and so yeah I just lined up. Trying to make sure that I won't look like an idiot, I began to think of questions to ask the workers there. Its funny, because as my mind became consumed with these thoughts, I wasn't paying attention and it was my turn and yeah, I wasn't ready so I blurted out, "Do you guys sell coffee?" The girl looked at me weird, like if I was lost, stupid, mental or something.... probably thinking 'of couse we sell coffee...its a coffee shop afterall...stupid idiot.' Well probably not that extreme, but I quickly threw in my next question before I gave her a chance to think further. "I mean, do you sell bagged coffee"... and "whew" what a relief. And then came the technical questions and not to look stupid this is how I answered...
girl: would you like organic coffee?
me: umm..sure

girl: what size?
me: what size do they come in?

girl: 1/4 pd, 1/2 pd and pd
me: umm..sure

girl: pd?
me: umm..sure

girl: umm.. ok...Grind or beans?
me: grind

girl: Medium or Dark Roast?
me: medium

girl: Ok..that comes to $15.50
me: umm... what???

Yeah, so I ended up paying $15.50 for a pound of coffee. I would have cancel the order but the lady was grinding the beans for me...

I did drink the coffee and it tasted alright, nothing special compared to other coffee...*sigh*...

Obession

Obsession: David Crowder

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

Chorus

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You
And I am so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I am stubborn, Lord, and I am longing to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like bird


I think, is about our day-to-day "swing" of hearing God and then going through a drought and then hearing Him again. But all the time, our heart should burn for him and then we'll be surrounded like a fog. The past few weeks have been foggy nights and fog just clouds everywhere and you feel enclosed and that if you walked into a thick patch of fog, you'd be completely invisible and safe. Isn't it interesting that when driving through fog, bright lights make it worse so you can't use them and have to settle for just your regular headlights? That's how we have to remember tha God's there; not in the flashy bright light that we're looking for, but in the regular, dim, smaller light and the only way to get through the fog is to watch the regular light. You're always safe with a regular light in fog; just like you're always the safest at the center of God's will. Until the fog lifts. . . . follow the regular light.

Brokeness

Man, brokeness... I am broken, I don't think I can handle it anymore... I keep surrendering more and more of my life to You. Thats not enough, I need to surrender it all. Thats what makes things so painful. I try to surrender it all, but my plans keep coming back at me. I try to surrender again... and again the process repeats itself. And after each cycle, it gets even more painful.

There are some decisions I need to make in my life. I don't want to make them, but I have to. I wish God would speak to me...why does He seem so silent... I need His direction in this... I know He is faithful, I know He cares so much for me, I know He wants His best for me... but why does He seem so silent during this time... a word would be nice... even if its a harsh word... but silence...

My heart aches....

Help me Lord...

Help me Lord to trust in You this time. Lord you are good, you are good! Help me, give me strength as I go through this... I can't do this on my own.... my heart is broken....

Help me Lord, I can't get through this without You...

Shortsightedness...

Continous submission?

Its so hard to believe that during the times of pain and disappointment that God wants His best for You. Even, during the times that you spend so much time in prayer, perserving in prayer, asking God for something to happen, and He remains silent... not even a word. You ask people around to pray, you continously give up the situation to Him.... yet He is still silent. You pray with such faith, and ask with expectation (James 1:5-6) and yet He remains silent...

I guess what I'm realizing that the suffering, pain, disappointment and tears is the process of His best or perhaps even His best for me right now. So often and yeah...pretty much everytime...I can only see whats infront of me and yeah, its pretty shortsighted. But the funny thing is that God sees the full perspective. In the process of pain and suffering, there is brokenness. But yeah, brokeness is what God wants (Psalms 51:17)



3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5: 3-5 MESSAGE)

Tired and so sleepy

Well, its about 1:30 in the afternoon and yeah... i can barely keep my eyes open. I'm so sleepy for some reason. I guess its a combination of having nothing to do, quiet office and full lunch. hahaha...even my laughing is weak.

Been thinking about a lot of things lately. I guess you can only think and analyze so much before you dive in. hahaha... I'm the guy that likes to take a calculated risk with backup plans of backup plans. To ensure that if something goes wrong, that i'm prepared for it. Hahaha..man, i worry about the stupidest things. Whatever happen to "trust in the Lord with your heart and lean not on your own understanding"??? *sigh* With all these thoughts crammed in my head, man I just want to stop thinking all together! and let things happen... perhaps that might be the best approach right now.... we'll see... "and in all your ways acknowledge him and he'll make your path straight" ... God, you are God! Thank you for your interest in my life and your interventions. Your intentions for me are the best for me. I know that you know whats best for me and the people around me... help me to be obedient to what you want me to do and give me the strength to follow through.

ok i know i'm not making any sense...hahaha...i'm just tired.... Thats what a blog is for just random and incoherent thoughts...hahaha

Man...shoot i just open my eyes and yeah apparently 5 mins just passed...

Time for a walk

Worthy

Have you every met people in your life that you simply don't deserve?

The friends and fellowship of those who sincerly care for you for who you are... Man I'm so blessed to have people who would go out of the way just to see how i've been doing. That would ask me the hard, tough and honest questions. So hard to find people who actually show that geniune care about you. God is good, these people are a great reminder that I am loved and worthy of love and to be loved.
I think it's just amazing how rich we become when we make things simple again and realize how many blessings we do have, no matter how big or small

God is good. Even the times when He seems so silent, for He is silently working in us. Thank You!

God you're good! :)