Engaging my heart in corporate worship when leading...

This is exactly how I feel every time when I lead worship:

"I find that one of the hardest things for me to do as a worship leader is to actually engage my heart in the corporate worship times that I’m leading. As time passes by it’s so easy to simply get into coast mode and not really engage my spirit with what I’m doing.

The Lord in His kindness so many times still speaks through us and uses us to touch others because He loves the people and wants them to be ministered to. But I don’t want to just settle for God using me to touch others; I want to maximize my time of leading worship and actually encounter the Lord myself!

I have to constantly remind myself of the primary reason why I’m singing, playing, or leading."

- Justin Rizzo

Ray Johnson - a man to be remembered.

My heart weeps right now. I just found out that a old family friend Ray Johnson has just passed away. I haven't seen him for while now 6-7 years? I was in my 2nd or 3rd year of university but I still remember him as a boy. He was one of the most kind hearted person I've ever met. He took care of my father when my dad first started at GCA and was like a grandfather to me when I was a child. He was the one that taught me tic-tac-toe. I have a clear vivid image of him. His glasses, his warm and wholesome smile and the big hug he gave me as a child.

The last time I saw him I remember that his wife had passed away from cancer a year earlier. I remember the look of his aged and wrinkly face. There was sadness and pain he still deeply missed his wife. He was grateful though to see some old friends. As my father, mother and I talked with him, it brought back the warm, wholesome and loving person I remembered him being. There were moments of laughter and sadness in our conversation. After the visit, we said our goodbyes and I still remember the tears in his eyes as we left him. "Promise me that you will visit again soon?" his voice cracked. I knew he didn't want that day to end. He was lonely and wanted to be near friends. I said "Yes, I will see you again soon..." and he smiled.

I'm sorry Ray that I never had a chance to visit. I still remember you and all the things that you taught me when I first started elementary school. You were such a kind and loving man. It does bring me comfort to know that you are now in heaven with your lovely wife. One day we will meet again and perhaps we can have that conversation again...but this time, no more tears and no more pain.

I love you Ray for being such a good friend/mentor to my dad. Thank you!

Sam

Living from Approval & Not for Approval

Our value has nothing to do with what we can do for Him, but our value is based upon what Jesus did for us. I failed and exchanged report cards with Jesus. He got all my F’s and I got all His A’s! He got what my deeds deserved, death on a cross. I got what His deeds deserved, to be seated with Christ in heavenly places.

I’m all smiles right now. Why? Because God values (honors, highly esteems, blesses, favors) me with the same value He placed on His Son Jesus. I am highly favored.

“I have given them the glory that you gave Me that they may be one as we are One!” John 17:22

Prune me

I want to be the branch that bears fruit. Even if He prunes me. Discipline does not feel good at the moment, it can be harsh and even painful. These are the life lessons God brings into our life to humble us and make us more like Him. So this is why I welcome the discipline of God, for without it, I would be like a spoiled child gone astray and doing things on my own. I don't want to do things alone, I want to do things with my heavenly Father. Prune me Oh Lord, even if it hurts, don't let me have my way, but let only Your way be done in me and all of us. Show us Your great love for us this day! In Jesus name Amen

Don't want to be the same...

Jesus take our lives, fill our lives and be our lives forever. Satisfy our thirsts with Your presence and let us not drink from any other well. We need You desperately and ask You please come and fill our hearts with Your life this day. Amen.

Looking forward :)

When I think back about the last few months I can only smile. God is good. I am thankful and grateful for everything that has transpired. Even when some things seem lost, God can still use it for a greater purpose. :)

I guess that thing that is still on my heart is where? and when? I am really looking forward to the things in the future, I still need to rely on God to get there. I don't want to rush it, but I'm not gonna do nothing either. I'm learning to pray and continually give my requests up to Him. And just trusting His timing. His timing is perfect, too soon or too late we can miss something very important, good and special.

Its not easy to wait, but I'll continue to wait and pray and seek confirmation when the time is ready. I've asked others to pray and I'm so grateful for their faithfulness with their prayers. "Please Lord, show me when to move forward! Lord, you know the desires of my heart. I trust you Lord! For you are good and you only do good. Thank you father for hearing my prayer and wanting your best for me!"

Quietness

Quietness is a good thing. Though sometimes you appreciate the fun and good times and you want more of it. Quietness is good. Though I don't entirely understand why, and how this fits into His plans and I want to work things to really work out, I really need to continue to pray and agree with the Lord's plans and trust Him that everything will work out. *sigh* there are challenges and difficult things ahead. Need to continue to believe that the Lord is working and He does only good because He is good. Thank you Lord that you love me and want your best for me. Sometimes the best requires a little bit more work and effort, but it is You that I trust and can hold on to. The initial minor discomfort will help protect me in the long run. I firmly believe it! As long as I am obedient. "Oh Lord please teach me to be obedient!" Sometimes the most beautiful things in life requires time and patience to nurture. And when it does blossom, it is a beautiful thing! Amen!

Is this whats best for me?

Just been learning to think less and pray more :)

I'm officially halfway through my 40 day fast. only 20 more days to go! Its been good, actually really good to pray, focus on God and prayers for the church.

Faith is stepping out and not knowing what comes next. Even though there has been confirmation upon confirmation each step of the way it is funny, no matter what or how many confirmations I get... I can't seem to wait for the next milestone! :) that milestone will come! I believe it! But I wonder how long till I get to it. I get so anxious. *sigh* I'm too impatient. *deep sigh*

Lord, help me not to be anxious about this area of my life but Lord I give this up to you in prayer and petition and I trust that you know whats best for me. Because you love me. Thank you!

Life is moving fast and its funny how some of the things that have been prayed over me last year is starting to come true. I won't share in detail, but I wonder about whats next?