I AM SAM

Engaging my heart in corporate worship when leading...

2010-06-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

This is exactly how I feel every time when I lead worship:

"I find that one of the hardest things for me to do as a worship leader is to actually engage my heart in the corporate worship times that I’m leading. As time passes by it’s so easy to simply get into coast mode and not really engage my spirit with what I’m doing.

The Lord in His kindness so many times still speaks through us and uses us to touch others because He loves the people and wants them to be ministered to. But I don’t want to just settle for God using me to touch others; I want to maximize my time of leading worship and actually encounter the Lord myself!

I have to constantly remind myself of the primary reason why I’m singing, playing, or leading."

- Justin Rizzo

Ray Johnson - a man to be remembered.

2009-02-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

My heart weeps right now. I just found out that a old family friend Ray Johnson has just passed away. I haven't seen him for while now 6-7 years? I was in my 2nd or 3rd year of university but I still remember him as a boy. He was one of the most kind hearted person I've ever met. He took care of my father when my dad first started at GCA and was like a grandfather to me when I was a child. He was the one that taught me tic-tac-toe. I have a clear vivid image of him. His glasses, his warm and wholesome smile and the big hug he gave me as a child.

The last time I saw him I remember that his wife had passed away from cancer a year earlier. I remember the look of his aged and wrinkly face. There was sadness and pain he still deeply missed his wife. He was grateful though to see some old friends. As my father, mother and I talked with him, it brought back the warm, wholesome and loving person I remembered him being. There were moments of laughter and sadness in our conversation. After the visit, we said our goodbyes and I still remember the tears in his eyes as we left him. "Promise me that you will visit again soon?" his voice cracked. I knew he didn't want that day to end. He was lonely and wanted to be near friends. I said "Yes, I will see you again soon..." and he smiled.

I'm sorry Ray that I never had a chance to visit. I still remember you and all the things that you taught me when I first started elementary school. You were such a kind and loving man. It does bring me comfort to know that you are now in heaven with your lovely wife. One day we will meet again and perhaps we can have that conversation again...but this time, no more tears and no more pain.

I love you Ray for being such a good friend/mentor to my dad. Thank you!

Sam

Living from Approval & Not for Approval

2009-02-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

Our value has nothing to do with what we can do for Him, but our value is based upon what Jesus did for us. I failed and exchanged report cards with Jesus. He got all my F’s and I got all His A’s! He got what my deeds deserved, death on a cross. I got what His deeds deserved, to be seated with Christ in heavenly places.

I’m all smiles right now. Why? Because God values (honors, highly esteems, blesses, favors) me with the same value He placed on His Son Jesus. I am highly favored.

“I have given them the glory that you gave Me that they may be one as we are One!” John 17:22

Prune me

2008-06-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

I want to be the branch that bears fruit. Even if He prunes me. Discipline does not feel good at the moment, it can be harsh and even painful. These are the life lessons God brings into our life to humble us and make us more like Him. So this is why I welcome the discipline of God, for without it, I would be like a spoiled child gone astray and doing things on my own. I don't want to do things alone, I want to do things with my heavenly Father. Prune me Oh Lord, even if it hurts, don't let me have my way, but let only Your way be done in me and all of us. Show us Your great love for us this day! In Jesus name Amen

Don't want to be the same...

2008-06-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

Jesus take our lives, fill our lives and be our lives forever. Satisfy our thirsts with Your presence and let us not drink from any other well. We need You desperately and ask You please come and fill our hearts with Your life this day. Amen.

Looking forward :)

2007-08-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

When I think back about the last few months I can only smile. God is good. I am thankful and grateful for everything that has transpired. Even when some things seem lost, God can still use it for a greater purpose. :)

I guess that thing that is still on my heart is where? and when? I am really looking forward to the things in the future, I still need to rely on God to get there. I don't want to rush it, but I'm not gonna do nothing either. I'm learning to pray and continually give my requests up to Him. And just trusting His timing. His timing is perfect, too soon or too late we can miss something very important, good and special.

Its not easy to wait, but I'll continue to wait and pray and seek confirmation when the time is ready. I've asked others to pray and I'm so grateful for their faithfulness with their prayers. "Please Lord, show me when to move forward! Lord, you know the desires of my heart. I trust you Lord! For you are good and you only do good. Thank you father for hearing my prayer and wanting your best for me!"

Quietness

2007-07-08T22:59:00.000-07:00

Quietness is a good thing. Though sometimes you appreciate the fun and good times and you want more of it. Quietness is good. Though I don't entirely understand why, and how this fits into His plans and I want to work things to really work out, I really need to continue to pray and agree with the Lord's plans and trust Him that everything will work out. *sigh* there are challenges and difficult things ahead. Need to continue to believe that the Lord is working and He does only good because He is good. Thank you Lord that you love me and want your best for me. Sometimes the best requires a little bit more work and effort, but it is You that I trust and can hold on to. The initial minor discomfort will help protect me in the long run. I firmly believe it! As long as I am obedient. "Oh Lord please teach me to be obedient!" Sometimes the most beautiful things in life requires time and patience to nurture. And when it does blossom, it is a beautiful thing! Amen!

Is this whats best for me?

2007-06-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

Just been learning to think less and pray more :)

I'm officially halfway through my 40 day fast. only 20 more days to go! Its been good, actually really good to pray, focus on God and prayers for the church.

Faith is stepping out and not knowing what comes next. Even though there has been confirmation upon confirmation each step of the way it is funny, no matter what or how many confirmations I get... I can't seem to wait for the next milestone! :) that milestone will come! I believe it! But I wonder how long till I get to it. I get so anxious. *sigh* I'm too impatient. *deep sigh*

Lord, help me not to be anxious about this area of my life but Lord I give this up to you in prayer and petition and I trust that you know whats best for me. Because you love me. Thank you!

Life is moving fast and its funny how some of the things that have been prayed over me last year is starting to come true. I won't share in detail, but I wonder about whats next?

Need of Wisdom.

2007-05-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Whoa, I can't believe its been like 3 months since my last post. It probably has to do with the fact that I spend most of my time on facebook now. Hahaha... its all good. I'll save this blog for more personal type stuff.

Man, I really need wisdom, patience and guidance now. I'm not entirely sure how to approach this. But I've been agreeing with God's plan so far...haha...why stop now.... He's totally been looking after me and I can only thank and praise Him. I'm really excited right now...but at the same time a little anxious. I guess its more about my inadequacies than anything else.
I'm starting to dig up some old scripture again

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (matt 6:34)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. (proverbs 3:4-5)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)

She's a babe!

2007-02-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

Thats right folks I finally got her! She sounds so good. I wanna thank Jonny for the hookups. She's not an G&L ASAT as I wanted...No something WAY better...a Fender Custom Shop Classic Telecaster guitar beauty baby!

I love the neck pickup...such sweet sweet sound. She's a little hard to play, but a setup should fix that and then she'll be perfect.

Next up...a sm58...

What a AWESOME Team!

2007-01-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

I must say that it was such a pleasure to play and worship with these fine gentlemen.

We had such a good time at the Chinese Winter Conference this year. The Lord's presence was strong. It was such a blessing to be part of a team in which all our hearts were united in our focus to worship God.

Never had I played in a team with such talent and such passion. It was good to see some of the older folks jumping... hehe... The Lord is good. I pray that we will have the opportunity to serve together in the future.

Just want to wish all of you out there a Happy, Blessed and Prosperous New Year! Greater things are gonna happen in 2007.

Don't take credit for my work...

2006-12-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

I think one of the biggest things that totally pisses me off is when a co-worker takes credit for your work. You explain to him how the process works because he asked. But as you explain to him, he disagrees and keeps interrupting and when he finally understands, he promptly notifies the supervisor... and the supervisor praises him for his efforts.

*sigh* I think also it could be a major PRIDE thing. *sigh* A couple of arguments to support this is the fact that he deals with stress really well and is very friendly and approachable... and with me, i'm freaking out with my deadlines and in all honestly a wreak. There is so much pressure for me to get things done, but hardly any encouragement from anyone.

I need to let go of this bitterness and anger and move forward with my life. Cause this is seriously destroying me.

Sorry guys...i just had to vent.

I think i'm starting to understand..

2006-11-29T15:25:00.000-08:00

The Desert is the answer and where I'm at, it is in the desert where I can fully experience God. But its in the desert where everything is so dry, uneventful, quiet and lonely. I long for so many things and so many dreams that I still want to see fulfilled. But its time to put all that away and be in the desert. There isn't really much of road to see. All I really have is just Him...

But there will be a time for me to leave (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) Seasons do change.
Just as Moses and John the Baptist spent 20+ yrs in the desert, they both had to leave too to fulfill their ministries :)

A glimspe...

2006-11-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

What it mean to see a glimspe of His Glory? What does it take? What am I holding onto that is preventing me to experience something more? What does it take to have more?

In a lot of ways, I'm really frustrated, I'm tired and burnt out from the pressures of work. I'm tired of dealing with people and being taken advantage of. I'm tired of being in this desert and tired of being tired.

Its in the desert where I've experience God's grace so many times, its in the desert where I've truly felt loved. Why do i resent it? I know that I'm still here cause I have some unfinished business, still lots of refining within me. Yet, I would feel gulity if I left the desert and not experience everything that the Lord wanted me to do. But then again, would I have really left? Can I leave? I feel so alone in my journey. Its been so long since I've last heard Your still small voice again.

Surprises...

2006-11-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

So you not gonna believe what happened to me yesterday.... I was working late last night trying to catch up on things at work. As I was working, the Janitor comes by and i did my usual "Hi, how's it going? ...Thanks for taking my garbage... have a goodnight..." and yeah carried on with my work. Anyways, about an hr later I was done my stuff and was shutting down stuff for the night. I grab my cell and wallet...but couldn't find my car key!!! So i spent the next half hour cleaning through my bag, desk and drawers thinking of all possible places where I may have placed my key and NOTHING... I was panicking because the bus service had stopped and I was the last person in the office. So I was freaking out and praying feverishly asking the Lord to reveal to me where the key is... and it wasn't working! haha... but yeah, after some time I managed to finally quiet my thoughts and just ask the Lord about where the key may be. As I remained "still" (my heart was still racing), the thought of "garbage can" hit my heart, I looked in my garbage can and it was empty... and then I remember that THE JANITOR had emptied my trash can. So I race outside...running around the other businesses outside and looking for his car. And only like 2 minutes after, I find him and explain to him what may have happened. And this guy was amazing. He took me to the big metal trash bin and it was FULL with garbage bages. With all the number of bags I knew it would take me hours to find...however... he knew the exact one from my office was. He brought out the bag, ripped it open and dumped it on the parking lot. Both of us were picking through the trash...and about 5 mins later..... MY KEY!... hahaha... it was amazing! I thanked the guy like crazy and he was like "no prob man"... crazy...

So today I waited for the janitor because I wanted to thank him again and give him a little something.... and you know what?? he just wouldn't accept it.... man if only he was chinese, the I would get angry and flip my desk, because its disrespectful when a fellow chinese refuses a gift... hahaha... but he was like "No No, i'm just doing my job" and then he went back to our 'regular' conversation... "How are you? ... thanks for taking out the garbage... have a goodnight"

Haha... man, God is good and man He never ceases to amaze me. Even with such small simple things, He's always there watching over me :)

engine woes...

2006-10-31T13:10:00.000-08:00

So it looks like we are really really really behind schedule. Talked with some co-workers who have worked on several similar projects before and they've all said "We've never been in a situation like this where its so messed up before" ... haha...*sigh*... in all honesty I'm tired of spending my saturdays here at the office. But I've got a job to do...and whether or not its going well I'll see to it to the end.

Reading Isaiah 61 which surprisingly is title "The Year of the LORD's favor" :)

2a to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Its so awesome that we as his children have His favor. We just need to proclaim it and take hold of it :)
It just amazes me how sometimes we feel we just need a word for comfort and the Lord provides a whole chapter! haha... and how sometimes we look for a whole chapter and we only get a word. Yes the Lord is good!

Friday the 13th!

2006-10-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

Ahh yes today is friday the 13th...eh...

so I bought this new-used analog delay pedal. Thats right people a green label late 80's BOSS-DM!!!!!
haha... i pretty stoke on hearing the good old vintage tone. So this is awesome, my next pedal purchase shall most likely be a tube screamer! and that should be good for the most part until i get a new guitar.

Anyways, I guess I'm progressing on with life. Learning to rely on Him through both the good and the best of times! thats right...not just the bad times...all we are and have is a gift from God.

A new beginning! Isaiah 35 says it well:

1 Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.
The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses.
2 Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers
and singing and joy!
The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon,
as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.
There the Lord will display his glory,
the splendor of our God.

9 The parched ground will become a pool,
and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land.
Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish
where desert jackals once lived.

Time to let go of the habits of the old and believe that new and better things are about to come. The Lord's favor is upon his people. And you know what? thats you and me!

Amen to a new beginning!

Looking for a bass player...

2006-10-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

to teach me...hahaha...

Yup, thats right...i've got roughly about 2 months to learn bass. Basically, I need to learn some basic - intermediate level bass rhythms... and oh...does anyone out there have a bass I can borrow?

Thanks!

Finally...a post!

2006-09-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

Well, its been awhile eh?

*sigh*...i can't believe its the end of september already....this means deadlines. I've been so busy with this project that i've literally lost track of which day is what. The "engine" team is so stressed out, and I think when the development lead snapped at me yesterday it was the first visual sympton of the stress and high-tension among our teams. It was awkward, cause the whole office went dead slient right after our "conversation"... oh well, I have a job to do and it needs to be done... and I don't like to get pushed around.

Man, i've never felt so demoralized... haha... our team lead quit a few weeks ago (for a bigger and better job with a oil company), leaving the rest of the team to fend for themselves. We're the only team without a lead and the business resources...*sigh*. Its been always been a uphill battle and the hill now is only steeper.

But this is another step of growing out of the studentness in me and stepping up. All we are and all we have is a gift from God. We are called to serve and to love. As I was thinking this, I put on my headphones and I heard ..'How Can I keep from singing your praise... How can I ever say enough how amazing is your love...I can sing in the trouble times...sing when I win... I sing cause your there...I can sing cause you hear me lord... I can sing...etc..'

yeah not to take away any of the "manlyness" in me, haha...its a awesome feeling to know that his presence is here and the real joy in His love in all circumstances.

Starfield! Chris Tomlin! Third Day!

2006-07-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

All three bands last night night were good. Though I must admit I was only looking forward to Chris Tomlin and yeah I wasn't disappointed one bit. Man, Chris Tomlin was simply amazing. I admire his heart, humility and his geninue love for the Lord. Really, it was such a awesome night of worship. There is a special annointing God has placed on Chris's songs. Songs of such simplicity that ministers to people and yet bold declaration of God's love, greatness and Glory. Thank you Chris for sharing your songs.

On another note, I took some time to reflect the past year of my life... and yeah. Thank you God for this special day and thank you for simply taking a interest in my life by molding and shaping me this past year. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for Your will and Your plans in my life. Now, I'm really looking forward to another year of growth and in my life journey.

Cool Analogy...

2006-07-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

This is for the good guys out there:

"The good guy can be like the great restaurant that only locals know about. The tourists miss it because they fall for the "traps" of the neon sign and convenient location of the franchise, not realizing that the best is tucked away just a few blocks over. The good guy is more a discovery, finding him can take more effort because you have to work your way past all the flash of the franchise guy. He could be working in the cubicle next to you, or sitting just a few rows over in class, or playing guitar in your church small group. Take the time to get to know him. The one who might be easy to overlook could turn out to be the best kept secret."

hmmm...

2006-06-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Since when have I become so dignified in worship???

God is Glorious!

2006-06-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

God is Glorious over Calgary!

I have to say Global Day of Prayer this year was AWESOME! I just love the aspect that 200 million christians were all in agreement yesterday for change, for revival, something fresh and anew from the Lord.
I thought it was "better" than last years, even though there were fewer people but that doesn't matter. I'm not saying that last years what bad or anything, but just throughout this past year I have learn to appreicate and gained a better understanding on the power of prayer. And as we were praying yesterday, His presence was strong.

I was overwhelm because our (the church of CALGARY) hearts were in unionson for repentance, healing and declaration of God reigning in this city.

Also, I just think its so awesome to see the numbers of people participating, especially in Tawian and Hong Kong. The Lord is stirring something in the hearts of the chinese people!

I got alot out of this gathering, but "God, I hope You got the most out of our praises and prayers to You" As its not about us, but all about You!

So I apparently need to be more assertive.

2006-05-31T13:49:00.000-07:00

So during my team meeting today my supervisor mentioned to me that I need to be "more assertive with my decisions and less vague with my explainations... it would be good for my career..." she said with a smirk.

I'm sitting here at my desk and just pondering on her comment.

And...well, I must agree with her. I think I don't have the confidence in my answers or my work without her approval or involvement. Even though she is pleased with the work that I've been submitting, I think she wants me to break out of our my bubble and take the lead. As she is giving me greater tasks, I know she wants me to step up and make decisions without or less involvement on her part.

What she spoke is a reflection of my character. The reason I'm so afraid of making decisions cause:
1. The most obvious reason its my head if its a bad decision.
2. I'm not confident.
3. I've never made any major decisions without "lengthy" prayer. (this usually involves days... haha)

So my solution to this:

1. Make a decision (calculated risk) and stick with it
2. Confidence is found in the Lord. (As the Lord has promised to take care of us. Psalm 139)
3. Short or lengthy prayers...doesn't matter. Give it to the Lord, *speak into it and He'll lead the way.

*There is power in our spoken tongue...
"A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, and from the produce of his lips he shall be filled." (Proverbs 18:20)

Thanks guys for letting me share this with you.

God is working on my character. I'm grateful for His hand intervening in my life.

"I pray that your love for each other will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in your knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until Christ returns. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation those good things that are produced in your life by Jesus Christ--for this will bring much glory and praise to God." (Philippians 1: 9-11)

So I saw X3 and ...

2006-05-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

its pretty good.

I think its the best out of the trilogy. Though the story line strayed from the comic books, I appreicate that they concluded it and didn't leave too many things hanging... (for those who haven't seen it, stay after the credits and there is a scene that throws a twist). Supposely there will be a Wolverine and Magneto spinoff. So that will be interesting...

My legs are still sore from Laser Tag on friday... man, it hurts so much just to walk. And no, i'm not gonna throw the "I am old" comment... I find those comments more depressing than funny... haha.. rather I need to exercise and prepare for paintball! Which reminds me, I'll be holding a paintball event near the end of summer (tentatively, depending on when people are leaving) before those who need to go back to school goes back to school. Plus it would be good to get some of the guys together before they leave (Chris Harman). I'll keep you guys posted.

Tommorrow... the negotations begins...

Thoughts and Promises...

2006-05-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Reading through Psalms again. Just thought I would share with anyone that reads this blog. I go through this chapter whenever I feel low and when I just need the strength to move forward.

91:1 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

91:4 “He will cover you with His pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge.”

91:5 “You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”

91:11 “For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.” (Prayer for those closest to you)

I guess one of my biggest struggles is wanting to be and letting the Lord be that dwelling place. When I'm not thirsty, I don't yearn. However, when I feel low, I seek. I wish my heart wasn't so half-hearted sometimes. I want to seek when I don't want to seek. I want to perservere through both the abundant and dry times. God, I just want to seek as David sought after you. “How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God.” Psalm 84:1-2.
But to get to that, I need Him to be my dwelling place. Lord, this isn't something I can get to on my own. Lead me there...

91:9 "If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the LORD, who is my refuge-"
Here is a list of promises (91: 10-16):
I will DELIVER him.
I will PROTECT him.
I will ANSWER him.
I will BE WITH him in trouble.
I will RESCUE him.
I will HONOR him.
I will SATISFY him with long life.
I will SHOW HIM my salvation.

Open!

2006-05-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Now OPEN:
Accepting applications from 9-5 Mondays - Fridays only. Only qualified applicants will be contacted. Thank you for your interest!
hahaha yes... the posting is now up. Was closed for business, now I've opened up to the idea again.

******************************************************

Anyways, nothing too big thats been going on....

I'm still trying to finalize plans on whether if I should make a trip to Vancouver in July. I want to see my van friends again.

Work is starting to pick up and because of that I haven't had a chance to think too much on what I'll be doing this summer... haha...

The boys and I are still thinking about a trip to Cuba or the Dominican Republic at the end of August. So I've been thinking about that too and saving money.

I am a little worried though, cause deadlines for projects are coming around summer time and I don't know if they will approve my holiday requests. AHHHH! I miss the student life cause I wouldn't have to plan so far ahead for vacation and also not limited to 3 weeks of vacation, but its better than my last job only 2 weeks of vacation... ahh yes the Lord is good!

Thank you Jesus! I think I just need to pray... it will all work out...

If only apologies were this easy...

2006-05-04T14:32:00.000-07:00

Translation:

"Sorry me say you fat. You beautiful and thin."

Dang...

There is a time when every man needs a woman...

2006-05-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Man, this is so true!
Over the weekend, a couple of guys from church and I helped a friend moved. I thought it was going to be a easy move. Considering it was a single guy living in a single bedroom basement suite. Man! I was so wrong. When we arrived at his place, the guy didn't even start packing yet. His place was also a diaster, the kitchen and washrooms were pretty nasty (he hasn't clean the place since he moved in 3 yrs ago!) So we had to help the guy pack and clean. hahaha... it was so gross. It took 5 guys about 8 hrs to clean and pack everything (I swear we threw away half of our friends possessions). 3 hrs to load everything to the U-Haul truck and 1 hr to unload everything to his new place.

Its funny how guys in general want to keep junk in the hope of finding use for it in the future. And how gals just want to get rid of everything that has not been in use for the past 6 months! Ahhh man and woman do complement each other. A woman would have kept my friend in line with the cleasiness and packing! Though I do admit I've been to some pretty nasty apartments of some of my female friends but thats another story. All in all though, it was alot of fun helping my friend move. I got breakfast, lunch and dinner out of it and I got to know the guys from church better. So that was a blessing!

Man, this is my prayer that when I do finally move out that the Lord will bless me with a amazing woman. She will help me to develop good habits before my bad habits begin (and vice versa ...of course) ...hehehe...

I'm excited for my friend though, he will be married in 6 months.... ahhh ... his woman will keep him in line....*whip pow*... hahahaha ...

God put a smile upon my face - Coldplay

2006-04-26T14:19:00.000-07:00

Man, I guess I'm just continually grateful for the people in my life. Friends, who I haven't seen in a LONG time, can just pick up where things were left off. *sigh* I miss you guys but we will always have our friendship. Life-long friendships.

But I'm also blessed with the good friends who I see every week here in this city. Man I'm encouraged by simply being in your presence. Thank you guys.

When I think of all of you my friends. I can only smile.... and its just not the gas...hehe

Back at it again...

2006-04-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

Well, weekend was super awesome! I gotta see my super awesome Vancouver friends. Had some super awesome Van food. Met a lot of new super awesome people to add to my super awesome list of Van friends ! Man, I can really say that these friends are really a gift from God. I appreciate you guys! I love all of you with all my heart.

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."
Proverbs 27:17

The only thing that sucks is the fact that I think I may have caught the flu. I may have a ear infection as I am hard of hearing in my left ear, it pops sometimes followed by a sharp pain. I've also lost my voice and coughing. Actually, one of my co-workers said today that I sounded more of a man... so a possibility that I might be hitting purberty again...

Windows Live Mail...

2006-04-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

is HORRIBLE!

Didn't they learn anything about Human-Computer Interaction. The interface is not user friendly, application is slow to load and a few times has caused my IE browser to crash. The worst thing is, I haven't found a way to go back to the original layout. There is also a bug, that causes my msn to crash when i have both running.

Anyways, I'm getting pretty stroked that summer is around the corner! BBQs every weekend, camping and hiking trips... trip with the guys... man, so much to look forward to!

Oh crap... meeting in 5 mins....

New United Album is...

2006-04-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

Super GOOD! Love the songs! Intimate songs and songs of declaration of the church. I can say so many things ... but I won't.

Yup, went to CP during lunch today. Great CD! I also picked up an extra CD for a friend, but apparently he also picked one up too today. So I have a extra album... oh well, I can always give it away to someone else.

Anyways... I was doing a google on Isaac Watts today on his book on "A guide to Prayer", I haven't read the book yet, but I've been curious to read it since Intercessory Prayer. I stumbled on this guy's blog. Its great! I've got to learn how to pray more and just yeah be more simple with my prayers. I encourage everyone to check it out.

Nature of Prayer

Gift of Prayer

Grace of Prayer

For those of you who don't know, Isaac Watts wrote the hymn "When I survey the wondrous cross" and other hymns.

On a side note:
I heard that the presidents were elected. *dang* ... Jill you'll always be president in my heart.... hehehe.... now got to convince you to stay in Calgary... hahaha...j/k

IMPACT

2006-03-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

Whoa... doesn't Jonny look HOT with the PINK shirt?
Karen: That is soooooooo last year's color.

hahaha...

Anyways, Worship was awesome cause God was there. Need I say more?

I hope that we'll get a chance to be lead worshippers again on campus. It was so much fun! Thanks for the opportunity guys and thank you our Lord for recieving our praises to You!

Nathander for Prez!

Bored and highly unmotivated...

2006-03-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

Man, its been a slow past 3 days at work... hahaha... got nothing really to do.

So to kill some time, I manage to ummm...download some of the new hillsong united: United we stand, songs from the Hillsong site. I have every intention on buying this cd when it comes out on april 4th. But I heard this one, ok ..two... ok... three songs that I absolutely needed to learn and sing!

And now, not only do I have them, but I also have the guitar tabs written out... yea!

Full length mp3 songs that I have are:
-Take it all (guitar tabs too)
-From the inside out (guitar tabs too)
-Came to the Rescue
-None But Jesus
-Revolution
-The Stand (guitar tabs too)

Man these songs are soooooo good. I'm EXCITED!!! Might have to buy two CDs!

If anyone wants the mp3s or chords, drop me a line.

A day worth celebrating!

2006-03-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

Its 3.14 today! Happy PI Day everyone!

Yay for Pi!!!

0 for 12...

2006-03-13T12:37:00.000-08:00

Stupid tim horton's... i'm 0 for 12 for the roll up the rim to win contest. Oh well, i'll give it 6 more attempts before I officially boycott Timmy's...hehe...actually i don't think I'll ever boycott Timmys I just love them too much....

Weekend was good had lots of fun with the guys (MANCON). We had a paintball fight (with slingshots) in Nose Hill park in some seclueded area where no one could see...hehe...It was alot of fun! Highlights of the event:
- My bro got shot in the face with a paintball, by a team mate...haha... bad aiming..but a good shot.
- Hmmm... in the middle of the playing field, I puked... and man, it was pretty steamy...
- A couple of guys had to take a piss during game play... easy targets....hehehe...

Across the waves, across the seas, seperating you from me...

2006-03-09T08:55:00.001-08:00

Ok... this is not a love poem... sick....

So I got a call from a good friend last night. A friend I haven't seen nor heard from since summer. He's on the otherside of the world, mastering a language in which I've been trying to master my whole life...

Anyways, we were talking and catching up with our lives and sharing on what God is doing and wow, just hearing him I can sense a change in him. As we were exchanging stories, it was so encouraging to hear how through the struggle of change, loneiness, lack of direction (him being stuck in a foreign country) that God is using him and confirming things along the way.

Yesterday afternoon (yes... at work) I came across this passage in Romans. I remember memorizing this scripture a few years back.

Romans 8:28- "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."

But this time I let my thoughts dwell on it...and yeah if I were to re-write this verse, it would translate to:

"Disappointment, failure, and suffering are simply facts of life. But for those who are actively following God, He can turn disappointment and tragedy into new life" (Sam's version)

Ahhh...yes... NEW life...

and now... time to move forward...

Its better to ask questions... stupid organic coffee

2006-03-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

So it was my turn to buy coffee for the office. I've never bought coffee in a bag before and as I walked in to the coffee shop, "Higher Ground" in Kensington. I was completely clueless as I was hoping for some sort of display or sales section on bagged coffee. There was nothing but a long lineup, and so yeah I just lined up. Trying to make sure that I won't look like an idiot, I began to think of questions to ask the workers there. Its funny, because as my mind became consumed with these thoughts, I wasn't paying attention and it was my turn and yeah, I wasn't ready so I blurted out, "Do you guys sell coffee?" The girl looked at me weird, like if I was lost, stupid, mental or something.... probably thinking 'of couse we sell coffee...its a coffee shop afterall...stupid idiot.' Well probably not that extreme, but I quickly threw in my next question before I gave her a chance to think further. "I mean, do you sell bagged coffee"... and "whew" what a relief. And then came the technical questions and not to look stupid this is how I answered...
girl: would you like organic coffee?
me: umm..sure

girl: what size?
me: what size do they come in?

girl: 1/4 pd, 1/2 pd and pd
me: umm..sure

girl: pd?
me: umm..sure

girl: umm.. ok...Grind or beans?
me: grind

girl: Medium or Dark Roast?
me: medium

girl: Ok..that comes to $15.50
me: umm... what???

Yeah, so I ended up paying $15.50 for a pound of coffee. I would have cancel the order but the lady was grinding the beans for me...

I did drink the coffee and it tasted alright, nothing special compared to other coffee...*sigh*...

Obession

2006-02-18T21:07:00.000-08:00

Obsession: David Crowder

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

Chorus

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You
And I am so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I am stubborn, Lord, and I am longing to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like bird

I think, is about our day-to-day "swing" of hearing God and then going through a drought and then hearing Him again. But all the time, our heart should burn for him and then we'll be surrounded like a fog. The past few weeks have been foggy nights and fog just clouds everywhere and you feel enclosed and that if you walked into a thick patch of fog, you'd be completely invisible and safe. Isn't it interesting that when driving through fog, bright lights make it worse so you can't use them and have to settle for just your regular headlights? That's how we have to remember tha God's there; not in the flashy bright light that we're looking for, but in the regular, dim, smaller light and the only way to get through the fog is to watch the regular light. You're always safe with a regular light in fog; just like you're always the safest at the center of God's will. Until the fog lifts. . . . follow the regular light.

Brokeness

2006-02-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

Man, brokeness... I am broken, I don't think I can handle it anymore... I keep surrendering more and more of my life to You. Thats not enough, I need to surrender it all. Thats what makes things so painful. I try to surrender it all, but my plans keep coming back at me. I try to surrender again... and again the process repeats itself. And after each cycle, it gets even more painful.

There are some decisions I need to make in my life. I don't want to make them, but I have to. I wish God would speak to me...why does He seem so silent... I need His direction in this... I know He is faithful, I know He cares so much for me, I know He wants His best for me... but why does He seem so silent during this time... a word would be nice... even if its a harsh word... but silence...

My heart aches....

Help me Lord...

2006-02-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

Help me Lord to trust in You this time. Lord you are good, you are good! Help me, give me strength as I go through this... I can't do this on my own.... my heart is broken....

Help me Lord, I can't get through this without You...

Shortsightedness...

2006-02-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Continous submission?

Its so hard to believe that during the times of pain and disappointment that God wants His best for You. Even, during the times that you spend so much time in prayer, perserving in prayer, asking God for something to happen, and He remains silent... not even a word. You ask people around to pray, you continously give up the situation to Him.... yet He is still silent. You pray with such faith, and ask with expectation (James 1:5-6) and yet He remains silent...

I guess what I'm realizing that the suffering, pain, disappointment and tears is the process of His best or perhaps even His best for me right now. So often and yeah...pretty much everytime...I can only see whats infront of me and yeah, its pretty shortsighted. But the funny thing is that God sees the full perspective. In the process of pain and suffering, there is brokenness. But yeah, brokeness is what God wants (Psalms 51:17)

3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5: 3-5 MESSAGE)

Tired and so sleepy

2006-01-30T12:19:00.000-08:00

Well, its about 1:30 in the afternoon and yeah... i can barely keep my eyes open. I'm so sleepy for some reason. I guess its a combination of having nothing to do, quiet office and full lunch. hahaha...even my laughing is weak.

Been thinking about a lot of things lately. I guess you can only think and analyze so much before you dive in. hahaha... I'm the guy that likes to take a calculated risk with backup plans of backup plans. To ensure that if something goes wrong, that i'm prepared for it. Hahaha..man, i worry about the stupidest things. Whatever happen to "trust in the Lord with your heart and lean not on your own understanding"??? *sigh* With all these thoughts crammed in my head, man I just want to stop thinking all together! and let things happen... perhaps that might be the best approach right now.... we'll see... "and in all your ways acknowledge him and he'll make your path straight" ... God, you are God! Thank you for your interest in my life and your interventions. Your intentions for me are the best for me. I know that you know whats best for me and the people around me... help me to be obedient to what you want me to do and give me the strength to follow through.

ok i know i'm not making any sense...hahaha...i'm just tired.... Thats what a blog is for just random and incoherent thoughts...hahaha

Man...shoot i just open my eyes and yeah apparently 5 mins just passed...

Time for a walk

Worthy

2006-01-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

Have you every met people in your life that you simply don't deserve?

The friends and fellowship of those who sincerly care for you for who you are... Man I'm so blessed to have people who would go out of the way just to see how i've been doing. That would ask me the hard, tough and honest questions. So hard to find people who actually show that geniune care about you. God is good, these people are a great reminder that I am loved and worthy of love and to be loved.
I think it's just amazing how rich we become when we make things simple again and realize how many blessings we do have, no matter how big or small

God is good. Even the times when He seems so silent, for He is silently working in us. Thank You!

God you're good! :)

Holidays! 4 days till christmas...

2005-12-21T12:26:00.000-08:00

Man!

I can't believe its almost Christmas! Man, I'm excited! So I thought I had all my shopping all done 2 weeks ago, but turns out that I didn't. Infact, I completely forgot about my cousins, all of them. Yeah not cool.

Lately, I've been thinking and just mediating on some scripture. I've been trying to memorize the book of Psalms. Not working too well so far, haha, but i do remember bits and piecies. Anyways, today I was just thinking about David and his psalms, his heart for God and I guess his character in general. Yeah, it was one of those days... I just sat on the toliet and just kept thinking... You know, I guess since graduation I've learn some things. I remember that I so didn't want to go to the working world. I wanted to stay in school and maintain my friendships and fellowship with crusade, classmates and friends. It was hard adjusting from a fast-pace life (from weekly assignments, exams and other weekly commitments) to a very slow down pace of the working life (lots and lots of quiet time). I guess when things slow down, you get alot of alone time. And yeah I do get lonely sometimes. I want to be in the presence of friends, want to fellowship with people, want to "tell the world that Jesus lives". Since school is over, its been hard to do these things. But yeah, i guess its about moving on to the next step in life. And yeah, God has maintained a group of great guys that I've kept accountable with and brought new people into my life. God is good!

Lately, I've been reflecting through the pages of my journal and past entries of this blog. You know, despite the loss of that community, I wouldn't trade this period of alone time for anything in the world. Man, I think I've learned more about myself and God in these past few months than I have last year (note: this may be highly exaggrated). I've been relearning old things and yeah, when I crack open the bible, I feel like a kid in a candy store. I'm like, "God, what are you gonna show me today?" and man... haha... it just gets exciting! All in all, its so simple and yes we've all heard it, understood it and can only be summed up in one way. "Be still and Know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Its like understanding it for the first time again! woot! woot! hahaha...
Ok, I think my coworkers are getting creeped out by my giggling and laughing.
Ok, looks like lunch is over too. Crap... anyways:

Merry Christmas All! Really! I ask God for a increase of His Peace and Joy upon all of your lives!

Blessings!

December! 25 days till Christmas!

2005-12-01T10:15:00.000-08:00

Man, its so cold outside. We were definitely spoiled last week.
I think i'm getting sick, all day yesterday i was sneezing and producing my own version of "wontons".

Anyways, on another note, its finally december! Yeah, i'm so looking forward to the holidays, I think i get like 14 days off. Haha...not bad, not bad at all. I'm trying to think of some gifts for some gals. Dang, its so hard to shop for women. I mean i understand that they want something thoughtful and creative and nothing too generic. But in all honestly, its so hard to think of insightful gifts without giving them the wrong impression. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Dang!

2005-11-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

Dang, bad day.

So, i just got some tea from the office drink machine. Got back to my cubicle and sat down on my chair. Drinking my hot tea, I placed my free hand on the edge of my desk and began to pull myself to my computer. As I was pulling, my fingers slipped, and *punch*... I canned myself, fast and hard. In pain used both hands to comfort the sore area and yup, I forgot I had the tea, spilled my hot drink on my crotch area. Immediately, I jumped out of my seat and then my foot gets caught from one of the wheels from my chair and yup, tripped over my chair and *bang* the back of my head goes right into my filing cabinet...

Dang...what a bad day...

Multitasking....

2005-11-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

You know if you think about it, I don't think I would ever have to wear pants again....
All it needs now is a microwave or oven...hehehe...to eat as you crap...haha...ok maybe not....

Ahhhh...yes!

2005-10-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

I just slay another dragon...hehe

The dream is gone...lost another one...

2005-10-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

So some jerk placed a bid on my guitar, well its not my guitar anymore...nor did I put a bid on it, but it was to be my guitar.

This was suppose to be me -> Imagine this:

Scores of women, may I say good looking women, screaming in adoration. Laser lights and fog effects. Bandmates in awe, staring at centre stage... all waiting in anticipation. Suddenly the noise gets louder, stage lights are all focus at the centre. And *BOOM* fireworks flying here and there. And then... the dream is gone, it will never happen... darn.

Darn, I'm really disappointed that I didn't bid on that thing. Deals comes and goes...just have to wait on the next one.

Anyways, this morning as I was walking from the train station to work, some JWs approach me. Being deeply hurt by my lost, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with them, and man I was a jerk to them this morning. "Confess your Sins and Repent or go to Hell!" I screamed.... ok that was actually in my head, but I was this close /-------/ (put your thumb and a finger on the two dashes) to saying it. Instead, I just politely told them that I wasn't interested and headed to work....

So I sit here by my desk just thinking... really thinking. You know it really got me thinking about that thought I was so tempted to say. So yeah thinking, thinking. I think alot of us Christians are arrogant, selfish, prideful jerks. The hardest thing for anyone of us (christians or non-christians) is confession. Not only confession to God, but confession to people. If I could only apologize to all those who have been hurt by "Christianity". Hurt by the mix of politics with the message of Jesus' love and grace. The fact that alot of people won't listen to the message of the cross because of people like me, who know Him, carry our own agendas into the conversation rather than just relaying the message that Christ wanted to get across. Man... I am sorry. This hurts, man I'm sorry. I am sorry.

Day Dreamer Idealist

2005-10-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

Most people have a dream of where they want to arrive and who they want to be—this is very important because it’s what motivates us to get there. Not having this vision would be like setting out on a journey without a destination in mind.

Idealist
Defintion: perfect, existing only in the mind, especially as one that cannot be found in real life.

I remember reading from one of my textbooks about what an idealist is:
"An idealist is someone who pursues idea that exists only in the mind, not in reality." However, a serious idealist chases such a goal to the extreme.
There’s a fine line between healthy idealism and empty-fantasy idealism.

Again in the textbook it mentions that a healthy idealism provides "drive, momentum and hope"—something everybody needs in today’s broken world. While empty-fantasy idealism, can result in chasing an elusive dream—something that doesn’t exist.

Pursuits may include:

the perfect job/career
the perfect woman ... hehe...
the perfect adventure ... (slaying "dragons")
the perfect social life ... (never to be forgotton)

Obviously, none of these ideals are available in our less-than-perfect world.
If you’ve ever felt, or are feeling, dissappointment and exasperation with the slow progress in accomplishing your future goals, you are not alone.

Things don’t always happen as fast as we’d like them to. But don’t give up! Keep running. (Phil 3: 14- 17)

Very few noteworthy, respected figures reached success simply by traveling from Point A to Point B; for some it was Point A to Point Q. There were many stops in between, some that might, at first, be seen as delays.
However, what may appear as an obstructive delay is actually where you need to be. We learn significant lessons during life’s “delays” that pave the road for the journey ahead.

Healthy growing means recognizing that it sometimes takes difficult mid-way learning experiences to equip us to accomplish dreams.
I'd like to share a fascinating summary I read recently of a well-known man’s disappointments. Here is a summary of the obstacle course on his road to success:

at age 7 - His family is forced out of their home on a legal technicality and as a child he works to support them.

at 9 - His mother dies

at 22 - He loses his job as a store clerk. He wants to go to law school, but his education isn’t good enough.

at 23 - He goes into debt to become a partner in a small store

at 26 - His business partner dies leaving him a huge debt that takes years to repay

at 28 - After courting a girl for 4 years, he asks her to marry him and is rejected. ( Man, thats got to hurt)

at 37 - On his third try, he is elected to Congress, but 2 years later, he fails to be reelected.

at 41 - His 4-year-old son dies

at 45 - He runs for the Senate and loses

at 47 - He fails as the vice-presidential candidate

at 49 - He runs for the Senate again and loses

at 51 - He is elected president of the United States

Who was this man? His name is Abraham Lincoln, a man many consider "the greatest leader the country ever had” (James Hewett).

Though, I ain't American this is something worth looking into, this president endured many heartbreaks and failures before he reached his ideal, and even then it didn’t mean that troubles were over.

But all of the tough times on his journey to presidency —including losing close family members at a young age, financial hardships, and repeated political defeat, prepared him for what he would have to face as a nation’s leader.

By definition, commitment requires that you stick with it when it’s tempting to quit... like relationships...but thats another story...

Reuben Morgan!

2005-10-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Man, Reuben Morgan at Tehillah last night! Man the worship was really awesome. The music and songs were really simple but intimate, I guess thats what worship is really about simplicity and initmacy. He didn't sing anything from his own album, he did however sing a few songs from the "God He Reigns" album so that was cool.

Just have to say wow, I was just blown away yesterday. Man, it was so awesome.

Plus, I manage to talk with Mr. Morgan for a bit, got his autograph and a picture too! Man, just like the other Hillsong people, he's really humble and yeah was a bit taken back on why I would ask for his autograph... hehehe.. but he was kind enough to write something.

Oh yeah its my little sisters birthday today. Happy 10th Birthday Debs!

Jesus Loves

2005-09-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah thats right, Jesus loves! He loves you!

The greatest love that anyone can know...

Emotions

2005-09-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Man, don't you ever get those days when you know there is something big? you've seen it and want it? and its stirring in your heart, to the point that the emotions consumes you completely? And you just want to go out and take it?
But at the same time when you finally get back down to reality and let your thoughts settle...you just can't because of the lack of resources, lack of faith? or could it be not right time?

(No...this is not about women or relationships....)

Man, dont' you ever get those days when you are just so frustrated when you can't do anything?
I've been so frustrated with myself and I guess with God with the fact that when are these things going to happen? When will His plans for me happen? I've been talking to people about it, encouraging them and being encouraged and such...but man...why can't I believe whole-heartly (100%) in the things and words I am saying. So I turn to the bible, and the first verse I see as I open the word was this...
2Then the LORD said to me, "Write my answer in large, clear letters on a tablet, so that a runner can read it and tell everyone else.
3But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
14For the time will come when all the earth will be filled, as the waters fill the sea, with an awareness of the glory of the LORD.

Habakkuk 2: 2-3, 14 (NLT)

My reaction was ....(Psalms 46:10).....

You just have to recieve it.

Man, don't you ever get those days...

Decision Making

2005-09-11T23:20:00.000-07:00

The wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon, had this to say about life:
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;nothing was gained under the sun
(Ecclesiastes 2:10, 11).

King Solomon had a pretty satisfying life. He took time to relax and enjoy himself but also worked hard to accomplish things. Yet, when he looked at everything he had achieved, he wasn’t satisfied.
Solomon was at the top of the success ladder:
-Distant kings visited him to view his splendorous palace.
-He had the highest IQ anywhere—wise teachers from across the world came to hear him speak.
-He did not lack female companionship, either.

Yet, despite all this, he found only one thing that could be counted as gain: his personal relationship with the God of the universe.
Maybe this wise guy’s success secret is worth looking into…
-God created you and knows you better than you know yourself. He knows your talents and weaknesses.
-He knows your dreams and is aware of your struggles growing up.
-He’s in a position to offer the best possible help to you in any situation and he deeply desires to do so.

Decision-making and other challenges will still be tough sometimes—troubles don’t all disappear after saying yes to God. But what an encouragement it is to know that you’re not alone in facing these life struggles.
How great to know that a loving, powerful, and faithful friend is walking you through them!

Man, just got to keep believing and more on.

Looking for a reason...

2005-07-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

Even though I know I have a purpose, a reason, its the time waiting inbetween that sometimes really gets to me. Just found one of my old Michael W. Smith CD's "Go West Young Man" and listen to "My Place in this world" man, just got me thinking of how so many of us have a yearning to do something.

The waiting and seeking out part sometimes doesn't feel enough. Why doesn't it feel enough? Could it be a lack of faith? Laziness? impatience? or the fact that waiting isn't anything of "action" or moving forward.

Its funny though, because at the same time, I know what I'm suppose to do and what needs to be done. However, I don't want to do it that way, I want to do that some other way (my way) where you can atleast see some fruit from your work.

However, fruit from my own doing can only last no more than just a moment, then it will die and not reproduce. That could be my problem, thinking that some other alternative is better, and knowing that it will lead me in circles and leave me nowhere.

I want to see vision, I want to dream dreams and fullfill God's purpose in my life and do them with His blessing. Why do I think that the way that I think is better (and faster) than the path that He has already set before me?

Man...why can't I let it sink in...and get it from my head and into my heart.

Anyways... here are the lyrics:

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like i’m
Chorus:
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong
Is there a vision
That I can call my own
Show me i’m...

Broken

2005-06-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

Broken

Guess I deserve it...

I can turn to you God and I will...but my heart is just full of this guilt.
Selfishness, confusion, lack of understanding could be my excuse.
Excuses is not to blame.
But it was my action (lack of action). Therefore my fault.
Actions and decisions will be defended.
I have no strength to defend. No pity accepted either. I will take the full brunt of this...
and become broken.

Interesting.. very encouraging

2005-06-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

Man sometime I wonder about my future and stuff. Is the working world really for me right? Or am I call to greater things?

The answer is both. We all sometimes get that "greater calling" sense whether in: career, music, ministry, work, school, etc.... I think thats what makes us human. However, I think that above all this, our sense of greater purpose is something thats in still in us from our creator.
Yes, we all do have a calling. Though we may not think that current situations that we're in may have any purpose.. but it does... Most of us know Jer. 29:11 verse by heart, but if you look at the verses before hand its pretty interesting.
In Jer. 26-29 Its a chapter that talks about the Israelities and the situations they were currently in... under oppression from Babylon...but the Lord said in verse 7 "And work for the peace and prosperity of Babylon. Pray to the Lord for that city where you are held captive, for if Babylon has peace, so will you." (NLT) I mean..WOW.. even under oppression.. work
for the propersity of their captors, pray for them, for when they are blessed so are you!
Wow... so yes, before I get too off topic... Israel under oppression was a calling.

And once we fulfill that calling we will move on to other things... "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you ...(Wow! :) there is that word again, "prosper")...to give future and a hope".
What a promise! Man! Lord, I AGREE with that promise! I AGREE with the plans that you have for me! I AGREE with the future you have for me! Lord, I AGREE! (...why bothering disagreeing eh?)

What a father! There is nothing we can do to make God love us more, yet there is nothing we can do to make God love us less. Thank you Father!

Convocation Tommorrow!

2005-06-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

Man!

Finally, the moment I've been waiting for... a day off from work!...and oh yeah...a 30 grand piece of paper!

Man, its honestly by the grace of God that I've managed to finish! I'm excited!

Anyways...thats it for now...

:p

United was AWESOME!

2005-05-31T11:24:00.000-07:00

Man, what a great night of worship!

Different hillsong band than the previous years. No Marty Sampson, Luke (drummer), Marcus(electric guitar) and the big black guy.... but man, it was still freakin awesome!

Another bonus was that I was able to see some friends that I haven't seen in a long time. Hehe...what a great night last night!

Thank you Lord! hehehe...

I'm excited, excited for so many things!

Man ...I want pizza

2005-05-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

Man, I'm just craving pizza right now. Today as I was meeting a friend downtown for coffee, I walked past a Pizza by the Slice store and man did it smell good. Big slices of pizza with pepperoni, bacon and cheese...man my mouth was watering...

Work is going alright....pretty funny actually, today one of the guys is doing a woman-independence site called gamma girls. The purpose of the site is bascially women empowerment for young women, encouraging young girls to be self independent. Anyways, one of the graphic designers was looking for pictures for this project on the web and he did a search on..."young girls"... man...he was surprised... hehehe.

Anyways...back to work...

Head hurts

2005-05-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

So much programming...my head is killing me. Crap... i am so losing it.

TOBI the PRO

2005-05-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Man, weekend was good...PAINTBALL was so much fun. Man...if only my last paintball was a little higher... i would have gotten Chris Harman in the butt. Darn! But yeah our team rocks! props to Tobz, she was like a pro out there. Hehehe... a girl not afraid but respond with firepower of her own...hehehe... you did awesome! It's strange I've been doing paintball now for about 7 years and how each year I get hit in a "new" spot. This year it was the adam's apple.... anyways...definitly thinking about doing paintball again at the end of summer, hehehe...hopefully we can get everyone to come out.

Well, back to work, today a whole bunch people will be heading to the orient for missions there. Calgary Project has begun too. Got to spend some good quality time with Alex and the bro yesterday... stupid jokes, funny comments...ahh the good times. Best of luck with everything Alex during project. Man...I hate to say this but... probably won't see everyone again. Eleven peeps graduated this year... man... it will never be the same. However, I've still gotta give the guys a call and have our meetings again.

but yeah...:p Lunch is over.
Later all

WORK: Commerx POSTION: junior web developer

2005-04-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Well, 2nd day on the job... and I just finished a section that these guys just gave me. I'm gonna take a quick break. Man, its been so long since I last programmed in PHP. I'm constantly looking over my books trying to remember syntax and other things!

Definitely looking forward to paintball tommorrow. Gratefull that the boss gave me tommorrow off. He's a really nice guy. Hope there will be lots of people there, plus I hope there are enough drivers. CRAP...some guys that I was depending on bailed out on me, but they had reasons... :p

Anyways, I guess I'm really thankful for this job, its all about experience I guess... and thats what I'm getting. Thank you God!

Dinner tonight is gonna be cool...looking forward to spending some time with a special someone...

Alright back to work...Peace Out!

Sam

DONE!

2005-04-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

I AM DONE!!!! yay!

Man, i don't even know how i feel. I don't think it has sunk in yet... but yeah... DONE! Hopefully, those last 2 exams went ok... a little nervous....

Well, last night was alot of fun. Its been a long time since I've had a good laugh with good friends. Long time! Good times, Good times!

Oh yeah...Jackie baptism was cool too... man...she looked korean in that video. Goodbye Jackie! I'm definitely gonna miss the pranks... but happy that i had the last laugh. hehehe...May God continue to bless you as you fulfill the purpose and calling that He has placed on your life!

Later all, God Bless You with your remaining finals!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBI!

2005-04-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU!!!!!!!

CONGRADS...you're finally hit the milestone of 20!!!!!

hehehe

2 down, 2 more

2005-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

*deep breath* ahhh yesss... 2 more left! They will be my hardest ones, time to study hardcore.... in a few minutes that is.

Paintball in a week! so looking forward to this event. I guess its what i'm really looking forward to. Anyone who wants to come send an email to me and I'll add you to the group: samcheung.cheung@gmail.com

I was having a discussion with Karen and my bro the other day, we were talking about burning calories. Apparently, 60 steps burns 0.1% of cal. Breathing also burns calories. So my next logically statement would be.... does taking a dump burn Calories? I mean sometimes... there is heavy breathing, this requires more physical activity that regular breathing and thus more calories burnt!

Ummm...yay... I think i'm gonna go now! Lunch Time!

Sam

1 Down 3 more to go!

2005-04-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

Man, I'm so tired right now... i'm looking around for couches to sleep on... *looks*... NO COUCHES!

I just wrote my 481 exam...man...so much harder than the midterm, just hope i got enough marks to pull a A or A- overall in the course. God is good!

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

WOW! what a good nap... found myself a carole in the 4th floor of library tower. I feel refresh now. I'm trying to study for my GRST 211 final, but the system is down... so i thought i'll finish up this blog. I'm in the Mackimmie Library now...and wow so many people studying for this class. Hopefully the server will be up soon. Its taking away my studying time.

Anyways...just another uneventful day.

Peace,
Sam

6 more Days!

2005-04-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

Wow... can't believe it... 6 more days left... 4 exams....

Yesterday, I found out that i didn't get the SQA job with Critical Mass...sign... its all good! The interview was definitely a learning experience. God I AGREE with Your plans that you have for me! I am grateful! God just didn't want me there and I'm just in awe how You're looking after me. Thanks to all of those who were praying for me, really WOW! I am so grateful for the gifts of friends and community. Thank you!

Anyways, I think I should get back to studying...

I hope everything is going good with everyone! If you need prayer or anything...let me know...

Sam

14 more Days!

2005-04-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

Crap, I've only got 2 weeks left, till i'm done university forever! .... unless God calls me back...

Well, tried studying for finals today...didn't get much done.... I'm so hungry.

Dodge Ball on friday was alot of fun...hehehe.... but now... i'm in so much PAIN! legs ache, arms are killing me, back is sore and my butt hurts. Hurts to even sit down. I am so out of shape. But yeah, good times, good times. Definitly looking forward to volleyball at the VolleyDome on friday!

I was reading jonny's blog and yeah man...totally understand how you feel about the mormons... yeah...even though you "had them by the balls" i guess we just have to really pray for them eh? Someday they will see the truth. Jonny just want to say that I am encourage by you. Its easy to talk the talk, but to consistently and persistently follow up with action speaks volumes. I am very encouraged by you!

Well...looks like its time to eat...yay!

Till next time....
Sam

The End is near...

2005-04-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...only 17 more days left of school. CRAP...I'm so screwed with my final exam schedule... this is the first time in my university career that i'll be finished exams in the first week. The time in which I don't wan't to be done early and just maxmize my remaining time here....

I'm gonna really miss Campus Crusade, its so hard to find people ( a community) who are so honesty, gentle and blunt. They really push you and stretch out your faith. I regret wasting my time in the past just sitting around and doing nothing. I can honestly say that this have been my best year at the University. So blessed to have been in a leadership study with Shawn and to meet up with Chris H. once a week. So blessed to have "lead" or facilitate a worship team that really wants to experience God on a continous basis. Even the times when we don't feel like to pray or worship, but we still pray and worship, not because its something we have to do, or should do, but because its our calling as Christians. He is merciful!

(Side Note: I just find it really funny how tithing works the same way with our time, This was my busiest year, 3 major group project classes with atleast 6-7 meetings a week (each meeting takes up 2+ hours). Yet, I still had time to lead a bible study, facilitate worship, be involved in a leadership study, build into the younger and older people and to go out sharing...and yet still have time to study. WOW! God is really good! So many times, I needed to cut something out, but man God is so faithful. When you honor God, He WILL honor you)

I know coming from a pentacostal background, I had at times looked down at some christian communities as Campus Crusade, being so prideful and shrugging their ideas off (self-righteousness) cause I already "know" them. As a pentacostal we emphasize on pursuing the gifts of the Holy Spirit and do alot of things based on emotion. When I get really emotional and just being real with God (not saying that this is the only way to get real with God), I always get prideful and very cocky. (God forgive me and continue to forgive me!) Emotion is GREAT, don't get me wrong, and yes I am still pursuing the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but it is as EQUALLY important to know the Word. To read your bible, pray and SEEK/PURSUE/HUNGER GOD on a continous basis. (Yes, I've heard this stuff thousands times before...but sometimes its takes that thousand and one time to hear it before it really sinks in and take it to heart)

Thank You God!

First Post

2005-03-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

Hello....i like toast...